After being jerked around so much during the accounting recruiting process, I am still dazed that this is all finally over. I remember earlier this week speeding along I-280 N, rushing out of my business suit, and standing in the front corner of the classroom by the door. Just standing there in wide-eyed confusion. I was wearing pearl earrings and make-up and mismatched sweats. Where am I? The faces look familiar…
My professor looked at me curiously and said, “You do know you can sit down, right?
“Oh yes!” O___O
As I sat down horribly embarrassed by my tardiness and confusion, it all came back to me–I am just a college student. Not a prospective intern. I already stepped out of the corporate world and checked back into the college campus.
It felt strange to be here in the classroom again, listening to lectures and studying for midterms. I do not even remember the last time I tried studying for an exam, so psh, at all my friends who think I study all the time! For the past month and a half, I have been prepping for interviews, waiting for interviews, going to interviews, hearing from interviews… Oddly enough, it repeats! In greater intensity with banquet dinners and back-to-back interviews!
Through it all, I threw myself out there, knowing that I would get my toes stepped on. Repeatedly. You know, the kind of toe-stepping that feels like a person put their whole weight on their foot? Yeah, that kind. Oh gosh, I can’t tell you how many times I have winced over “incorrect” interview answers and how many more times I wrote myself off. Let’s just say, I have used the phrase ” I am a goner” one too many times during 2010…
However, I did it–I got an offer four hours after my last interview. I am sitting here stupefied. This is two days after the fact, and yes, I am still speechless. I could make this into a Miss USA pageant winner’s speech, but I am not going to go that way. I will say this instead: I have never been braver and more clairvoyant and more determined amidst my fears of failure. I think it was that attitude that sealed my fate.
That confidence and attitude was not nurtured all on my own. As I mentioned earlier, I was riddled with self-doubt, but throughout this entire experience of shaking hands and talking to people, I met all sorts of well-wishers and advice-givers ranging from friends and family to strangers. I have never been more humble and grateful throughout this entire experience.
In fact, I had a hard time articulating anything but humility and gratitude for the past few days. I am that floored, which brings me to the next point–how in the world is this related to chocolate souffle cupcakes?
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